What I Am
by pokeyspot
Summary: Fluffy Darry. Both Harry and Draco recount the major turning points in their life and how their greatest flaws become their greatest strengths. "My name is Harry Potter and I'm an idiot." Two-shot. Rated for swearing/paranoia mostly. SLASH.
1. Draco

**Disclaimer** : I do not own Harry Potter and do not make any money from writing this.

 **AN** : Written for one of my greatest friends Melissa's birthday a while back. You truly are a light in my life and laughter in my heart. I love you honey and I'm so happy to be your friend! ^-^

 **Edited** : 6/28/15

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My name is Draco Malfoy and I am a bastard. Not by birth thank you very much, but I am most certainly one by nature. I have always been a bit rigid in my behavior, I am a proper Pureblood after all, but my temper only gained sharp edges when I met Him.

I didn't recognize him when I first saw him. Like anyone else of my generation I had grown up hearing stories of the Great Harry Potter. The scrawny cretin did not fit any of those expectations. Then Potter had the gall to reject my friendship. That was the day my life changed though I didn't realize it yet. For years my existence pivoted around our sparing and duels: that clash of personalities and heritage. It made me feel alive. It was the times when my temper was fierce and hot rather than the controlled disposition I was accustomed to. For those moments when flashing green eyes met mine I felt energy coursing through my veins, as if someone plucked them like a harp. That reverberating feeling down to my core resonates still.

Still I didn't really see him until the TriWizard Tournament. In my mind he was just the stubborn twit who was good for a fight any day. I saw him in a fight he didn't want to be in that year. When I saw Potter face down a dragon I realized something critical; I didn't like seeing fear cross his expressive face. I had the completely mental urge to jump into the arena and help him. (Thankfully I was frozen in place by shock at this point because I would have had no idea how to beat a real dragon.) I think it was that day that he became Harry in my mind. Of course that's around the time my hormones decided to kick in so I woke up more than a few times with that name on my lips.

It wasn't until the war that things changed though. I was forced to take the Mark and all the Death Eaters knew I felt no loyalty to them. I couldn't kill someone in cold blood any more than I would identify Harry when he was captured and brought to the Manor. My jailors were displeased. The spark of gratitude I saw in Harry's eyes was well worth the crucios I endured at my aunt's hand. Psychotic bint.

Panting I used the wall as support as I walked down to the dungeon. It was a walk I had made many times before, only sometimes of my free will. I heard a blend of voices rise and fall as I neared the dungeon. I closed my eyes in annoyance and shoved the heavy door open.

"If you're going to plot an escape, do it more quietly or they'll hear you." I grumbled as I sent an assessing look at the group. The three new additions were huddled around Luna, Olivander and the goblin. I still disliked the goblin. Luna's weary figure however had me rushing over. We had gotten close during our mutual incarceration. I put a bracing hand on her shoulder and asked "You alright, Luna?"

Her fey eyes looked up at me and through me, but she still smiled. How could she still smile? "I'm fine, Draco." She chirped happily before tilting her head and asking with innocent curiosity "Did they lock you in again?"

I felt a smile on my own face though it was as bitter as hers was sweet, "Not this time. I'm here to make good on my promise. Come on, up you get darling." I said as softly as I could manage as I pulled her to her feet and wrapped an arm around her when she swayed.

"You're shaking." She said sadly having seen the aftereffects of the curse many times before. "Did they curse you again?"

"Bellatrix." I shrugged

"Malfoy?" Harry asked quietly

I turned around and raised an eyebrow at him "Yes, Potter?"

"Why-?"

"Ah now that is the question." I drawled "But not the most crucial one at the moment. They disarmed you and that swelling charm isn't going to last much longer."

"Bu-" Weasley stuttered

I turned to the intelligent one in the group "Granger. Did you see what they did with your wands and supplies?"

She shook her head and I sighed and rubbed my forehead where a headache had begun to bite. Plan B "I have a pack for you then, though it won't last long. My wand is locked up in the second drawing room in the large display case. They warded the room against me." I smirked "But not against you."

Granger's soft brown eyes hardened in swift calculation. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth she ignored the fact it was me who was helping in favor of speed, "We would still need a way out."

"I've done some testing, call for a house elf once free of the dungeon, their magic works differently." I said, "There'll be a distraction. I trust you to keep the idiots alive long enough to escape."

"Draco!" Luna exclaimed "Don't you dare!" She wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw for nothing; She had figured out the rest of his plan.

Harry and the Weasel had stayed remarkably quiet up until this interjection. "What are you planning Malfoy?"

I looked hungrily at Harry at the sound of worry in his voice. Whether it was worry for the plan succeeding or for myself, I didn't know. I chose to believe the latter. The silence had clearly stretched too long as Harry started to squirm under my gaze. I prayed that none of my thoughts showed in my face.

Harry licked his lips nervously "Malfoy?" He asked a little softer than before. Hesitant. Sweet. Tempting. I chucked that thought to the back of my mind for later… if there was a later.

I smirked darkly "I'm going to go tick off the second most powerful wizard in the UK of course."

His vivid eyes widened behind those ridiculous glasses that I refused to call cute. Even though they were crooked and I itched to fix them. "Why?" He asked again this time more urgently.

I cocked an eyebrow at him "Maybe I just want the first most powerful wizard in the UK to survive this war long enough for me to rile up again." Oops too honest. Well in for a penny in for a pound, as the muggles would say. I thought. Aloud I said "I didn't exactly take the Mark by choice. You may hate me, but I want you to win, I want you to survive."

I watched with delight as his eyes go increasingly wide and his cheeks flushed "I don't hate you." He murmured

"Then survive, you hear me?" I said sternly as I gripped his forearm, but I couldn't keep the smile off my face at the fact he didn't hate me. If that's not worth a choir of angels, I don't know what is. His skin felt as soft as I had imagined.

He stared at me like he'd never seen me before and gripped my forearm back. "You too."

The energy jumped electric in the silence. I nodded sharply and gave his arm a squeeze because I needed to. Then he shocked the hell out of me. He pulled my arm towards him and I stumbled forward dragging Luna, who I had yet to release, with me. Luna bounced harmlessly into my side and I didn't feel it at all. All I was aware of was the arm on mine, the hand knotted into my shirt as Harry hauled me forward and, most vivid, the clumsy lips that pressed against mine. As kisses went it was artless, innocent, and over all too quick. It was also the best one I had ever received.

He pulled back looking as shocked as I felt and blushing to the tips of his ears. He started to release my shirt and step back. Numbly I let go of Luna who smiled one of those fey smiles. I didn't see it. I dragged Harry back and wrapped my arms around him.

"Now that…" I said huskily "Is a hell of a goodbye. May I return the favor?"

Startled eyes looked up into mine and without seeming to realize it he nodded. That was all the permission I needed. I lowered my head to seal my lips against his softly. So softly and when my tongue swept against them his lips parted. Feeling him, tasting him… I was drunk. I was dying. I was the happiest I'd ever been. He trembled, actually trembled, in my arms. I pressed all the closer against him as I ate at his succulent mouth with the hunger that had been gnawing at me for years. He absorbed my passion and redoubled it back. I fancied that I could feel his magic aligning to mine. Finally the demands of air induced our separation. I leaned my forehead against his and closed my eyes for a moment. I could feel his breath panting out against my skin. I didn't want this moment to end, but it had to. I opened my eyes reluctantly to meet his for a moment. Then I released him and kissed his forehead gently. "Go."

The crucios I endured as the distraction were worth it. Well worth it. The lingering pain that stayed with me for months was worth that one moment.

It was not until a few weeks later that I saw him again. Dead. Harry was dead. My body went numb, my heart thudded in my chest to indicate I still lived but I didn't feel alive. It was only when Harry stood triumphantly beaming up at me amidst the chaos of the great hall that I blinked back into focus. Living, breathing, my love. Was he really there? I reached out hesitantly to brush my fingers down his cheek. Warm flesh. I pulled him into my arms as I had that day in the dungeon, unaware of the ravages of the Great Hall or the people staring. I kissed him slowly, savoring every moment with the love I thought I had lost.

My love.

My Harry.

My Everything.

"I love you." I whispered the truth hoarsely once I finally breathed again

"I love you too." He said just as unevenly his eyes flashing over-bright as he smiled. In all the darkness and death the war had brought, his smile shone like starlight.

My name is Draco Malfoy and I am a bastard. A damned lucky bastard.


	2. Harry

My name is Harry Potter and I am an idiot. I mean I know I'm not the genius everyone makes me out to be, but no-one made me realize how socially stunted I was until I met him. Draco bloody Malfoy.

When I first met him I was a terrified kid confused by the wonderful world I had found myself in. I was intimidated by his superior attitude and frankly he reminded me of Dudley with his spoiled scorn. To say it simply, it was not a positive first impression. When I fought him the first time I had no idea what a cornerstone he would become in my life. As the battles went on, however, I started to learn. Slowly, so so slowly. I already admitted to being an idiot ok?

I didn't really notice him beyond him being a royal pain in my arse until just before 6th year. He was walking into Knockturn alley looking shaken, but as resolute as a solider marching to their death. That made me see, really see, beyond his posh polished exterior. It also made me terribly curious. What could put that look on the face of such a pampered brat? He had his parents. Their love. Their gifts of love. I doubted he had ever known want in his life. I followed him and continued to do so. My friends teased me for stalking him and it is only as I am writing this that I realize how right they were. I would actually fall asleep watching his footsteps on the Marauders Map only to have him walk off the page and into my dreams. Talk about a socially stunted idiot.

The war changed things. While we had always been rivals I felt almost… betrayed? When I saw he had the Dark Mark on his arm. I saw it after I had (again stupidly) cursed him terribly. I hadn't meant to, was horrified by the damage I caused, and my dreams of him turned to nightmares of him bleeding out in front of me. After that and the events on the Astronomy Tower, when he saved my life by refusing to identify me I was beyond shocked gratitude. Why would he save me, putting himself in danger, after I did that to him? I stood next to Luna listening to her tale of Draco helping her out so often during her imprisonment in Malfoy Manor when the paradox himself stumbled into the dungeon.

"If you're going to plot an escape, do it more quietly or they'll hear you." He grumbled irritably before rushing to Luna's side. He proved the stories she told correct in the way he handled her and the concern he showed.

"You alright, Luna?" He looked truly worried

"I'm fine, Draco. Did they lock you in again?"

His smile was bitter as a widow's tears. "Not this time. I'm here to make good on my promise. Come on, up you get darling."

I was not jealous of Luna in that moment. Not even when he wrapped an arm around her. Really I wasn't. I was… terribly jealous. Then I saw him shaking and the jealousy was pushed aside. I remembered shaking like that before, but only after Voldemort cursed me.

"You're shaking. Did they curse you again?"

"Bellatrix." Draco sais simply, like it didn't matter. He even shrugged. That in a way bothered me as much as him getting cursed in the first place.

"Malfoy?" I asked

He just raised an eyebrow at me, as if that told me anything.

"Why-?" did you save me? Why are you looking at me like that?

"Ah, now that is the question." He drawled and it made me want to punch him in the face like we used to, just to get a real answer out of him. "But not the most crucial one at the moment. They disarmed you and that swelling charm isn't going to last much longer."

It is SO the most crucial thing, my petty inner voice shouted childishly.

"Bu-" Ron stuttered obviously as affected by the mental whiplash as I was.

Draco ignored both of us and looked at Hermione. "Granger. Did you see what they did with your wands and supplies?"

When Hermione shook her head he started rubbing his forehead "I have a pack for you then, though it won't last long. My wand is locked up in the second drawing room in the large display case. They warded the room against me." he smirked "But not against you."

"We would still need a way out." Hermione stated calmly while I was anything but calm. He was going to help us more?

"I've done some testing, call for a house elf once free of the dungeon, their magic works differently." Draco said, "There'll be a distraction. I trust you to keep the idiots alive long enough to escape."

I did not like the sound of that somehow. It seemed Luna didn't either. She exclaimed "Draco, don't you dare!"

"What are you planning Malfoy?" I asked with worry for him

He stared at me with the strangest expression and did not answer for what seemed like an eternity. He looked like a beggar staring at a full table.

I licked my dry lips and did my best not to stutter as I asked "Malfoy?"

He smirked again "I'm going to go tick off the second most powerful wizard in the UK of course."

"Why?" I asked feeling panic. It was not a good idea to anger Voldemort as I had discovered the hard way. I didn't want him doing the same just for us to escape. I needed to know why.

Draco raised an eyebrow "Maybe I just want the first most powerful wizard in the UK to survive this war long enough for me to rile up again." He said before pausing to add "I didn't exactly take the Mark by choice. You may hate me, but I want you to win, I want you to survive."

Well if that's not a kick in the head. "I don't hate you." I said finally. After all my suspicion, after all my denials, what I felt was certainly not hate.

"Then survive, you hear me?" Draco said and gripped my forearm. And he smiled. Dear Merlin, I had never seen him smile so brilliantly before. I had also not seen such a wonderful smile before.

"You too." Was all I could choke out before the impulse overwhelmed me. It was the same impulse that made me dive headlong into danger. I grabbed him and I kissed him. I swear as soon as it registered what I had done I pulled back sure he was going to punch me. Aw hell, I even dragged Luna along. My face felt like it was on fire and I hurried to open my hand which had become fisted in his shirt.

He stared at me for half a heart-beat before letting Luna go and dragging me into his arms.

"Now that…" Draco said huskily "Is a hell of a goodbye. May I return the favor?"

It was my turn to stare and I nodded. I must have nodded because he leaned down to kiss me back. It was as much like kissing Cho or Ginny as a hippogriff was like a chicken. His kiss blew me away and I shook in his arms. Merlin, it felt good to be in his arms. I finally let go and kissed him back with everything I had been holding back for the past year. I swear I felt something connect with him on a deeper level than where our mouths fused. When we finally stopped for breath he leaned his forehead against mine and I stared while his eyes closed in peaceful bliss. At length he released me and kissed my forehead with surprising tenderness. "Go." He told me.

I went, and I did not see him again until the Final Battle. When given the choice at the borderlands of life and death, I heard his words echo: _Then survive, you hear me?_ I survived.

After Voldemort was finally truly dead, I found him amongst the rubble with a devastated look on his face. He reached out to me as if frightened I would vanish and brushed his fingers against my cheek. Then he pulled me into his arms. Home, my heart told me, I'm home. Everything else fell away and he kissed me.

"I love you." He said unsteadily

"I love you too." I said sure my voice was just as wrecked but I smiled because finally I had a home, a love, a life, in the form of this paradox of a man.

My name is Harry Potter, and I'm an idiot for not recognizing love sooner.


End file.
